she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
