im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
