Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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