Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
