Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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