If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
