Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
