I puked a lego.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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