i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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