He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
