You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize