is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
