Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i have two assholes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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