i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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