If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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