Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
