WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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