You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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