Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
