I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
