we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
