My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
