i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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