What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
