Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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