You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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