Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
