this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize