thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
