I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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