I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
