Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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