your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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