Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
