My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
