you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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