Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
someone owes me an orgasm
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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