Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
