Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think my cat just said my name.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
