Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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