talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize