I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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