sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
