Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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