is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
