At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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