she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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