I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
