your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize