**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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