dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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