Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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