Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
