Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
