the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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