i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize