Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
