Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am available for nakedness
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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