i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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