Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
