Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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