i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
