We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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