Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
