I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i think my cat just said my name.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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