My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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