8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
