I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
