Yo dont text me then not text me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize