Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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