the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
